When I Was Your Man
by Sunshinegirl010
Summary: Just a little one-shot/song fic where Stefan thinks over he Elena's relationship, after finding out about Damon and Elena sleeping together. Post 4x07. Rated T, some swearing. " The only thing he can hope for, is that Damon does everything right, to everything he did wrong."


_Okay, so I have suddenly become inspired by the influx of songs that I have listened to lately that seem to have everything to do with the Damon and Elena situation. That being said, I have decided to write a series of one-shots randomly based off of songs when ever my muse decides to bug me and not leave me alone until I decide to lay all of thoughts down in the form of Delena goodness. I realize that there are already many fic's out there like this, but none done from my point-of-view, so they should be slightly different than others…right? _

_This particular one-shot, is Stefan's point-of-view about Damon and Elena's relationship, (pre- no humanity Elena) in which he sort of reminisces over he and Elena's relationship, which he has now lost. There really is no timeline for where it is happening, but I imagine it happening somewhere around _

_Alright, so enough of my rambling and here goes nothing. I apologize in advance for the influx of Bruno Mars that you are more than likely going to see…I have suddenly become obsessed with Unorthodox Jukebox…don't ask me why and dang it if the some of the songs don't fit the show…so don't judge me. Haha. Here goes nothing and please just tell me if you guys would like more. _

When I Was Your Man

_Same bed but if feels just a little bit bigger now,_

He lies around in bed more than he used to. Stefan realizes this but he just can't seem to find the strength to get up anymore. He knows that he's always been a bit broody; while he tries his best to ignore his brother's obvious digs at his constant state of distress but…okay even Stefan realizes that this is taking it to a whole new level.

While trying to focus on the ceiling fan above him, Stefan does his best to make the thoughts running rampant throughout his brain take a rest. He just wants to stop imagining them doing it but images of a naked writhing Elena in his brothers bed is playing on repeat with startling clarity in his brain. He has yet to find a way of making them stop since the fateful night that Caroline told him of Damon's infidelity.

And yes, he is referring to it as **Damon's** infidelity, simply because the root of that word means faithful. This, god help him, Stefan knows has always been Damon's highpoint if there was nothing else good about him. He was so damn faithful, it was sickening sometimes. Over the years it would make Stefan so angry. Every time that he seemed to be falling too deep in the blood and the lust that being a vampire inevitably brings you, Damon would always show up in that one moment when he needed his demonic angel of a brother the most.

What makes him even more angry is the fact, that despite all of this. He still can't hate Damon for taking Elena away from him. He knows that Damon has secretly (and not so secretly) pinned over her and dreamed of her love, of her passion. Hell, anyone who meets Elena Gilbert and wins her seal of approval cannot help but to fall under her spell. She finds ways to make you feel special just by being special in her eyes. She was a sucker for lost causes.

But while he can't bring himself to hate his brother, he can sure as hell hate Elena.

Fuck her for falling in love with the other brother. Fuck her for making history repeat itself. Fuck her for making him so head over heels that he can't even remember what it was like before she was an undeniable part of his life. Fuck her for fucking his brother.

He understands how irrational he's being, but goddamn if it wasn't easier to blame everything on her.

And while he knows they've been broken up before, there was something so final about this time. In times past, they were simply in a fight, whether it was an argument or a struggle to keep Stefan's humanity intact. Before, he had the comfort of knowing that Elena still wanted him and still loved him and that all of her pain and sadness was a direct reflection of how much she missed him and wanted him back as her own.

It's sick and it's selfish but it's true. God is it fucking true.

He blows out breath and rolls over in the bed. Stefan tries to tell himself that this must be what Damon went through, this anger and this torment of not being given what you so undeniably want. Yet, Damon had never held her in his arms up to that point. He'd never felt the He'd never shared a bed with her that now felt so desolate and lonely. He'd never realized how large his bed really was when he forced to use it alone. And God if he wasn't alone now.

_Same song on the radio but it don't sound the same…_

Coming home to a blaring radio is never a good sign when walking into the boarding house. At least not when Damon's around. He's known his brother for long enough now to know his quirks and a blaring radio typically means that Damon is either dancing and is about to make a move on some unsuspecting girl, or the dance is over, the music is left on and the girl is already upstairs in his bed getting to know Damon Salvatore a little bit better.

With the line of strewn clothing leading to his door, Stefan's going to go with the latter.

What makes things worse is he recognizes the clothing. He recognizes the bra hanging off the banister and the red panties that he can see lying halfway up the stairs. He can even imagine the tantalizing image is brother must have been granted as he watched Elena retreat up the stairs.

_I've been really tryin' baby…_

Stefan winces as the song changes, it'd always been one of his personal favorites but suddenly he feels like a crazy person that has now a song to trigger every bad memory of his entire life. Everything bad, he will be able to trace back to this moment, when he can hear his brother upstairs making love to the woman that should be on the other wing of the house with him instead.

_Let's get it on…_

What he can't understand is why he's putting himself through this torture. Damon and Elena are going at it like animals and don't even hear the small panic attack that Stefan is causing himself at the bottom of the stairs.

He wants to burst into Damon's room and personal drive a stake through both of their hearts, but thinks better of it when considering the emotional turmoil **that** would put him through once he realized they were dead. But God if the thought didn't sound appealing.

Turning around Stefan throws up his hands and walks out the door. He knows he can't handle being in that house and hearing the moans of pleasure that are wafting through his ears over the soulful sounds of Marvin Gaye. Damn it if that song was never going to sound the same again.

_When our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down,_

'_Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name…_

Staying at Caroline's has become the best decision he's ever made. Stefan knows that if he wants to keep every bone and ligament attached to Damon and Elena's bodies, that it's best if he stays as far away from the boarding house as possible.

While Marvin Gaye Day, as he'd deemed it, was an accident, ( they weren't expecting him home for another few hours, but really time just got away from them), he knows that as time wears on they will get more and more comfortable with him being around ;therefore, thinking he was becoming more accustomed to their relationship, which is something he's not sure he'll ever be completely okay with.

He realizes it's childish and selfish and if Damon was acting this way, then Stefan would be pissed, but he still can't bring himself to care.

Bonnie visits a lot. And while he does appreciate Caroline allowing him to practically move in with her, he feels like he might explode if he has to listen to more gossip. Bonnie still visits Elena regularly, since Caroline wasn't completely on board with the whole Damon situation, and they constantly find time to discuss Damon and Elena's peculiar situation.

He finds it strange that with all of the growing up they'd had to do, the two girls still gossiped like it was lunch period on a Wednesday and the head cheerleader was knocked up.

He hates that when they talk about Elena, which is often. They think that Stefan isn't around to hear or that he doesn't listen, but he can and he does. They talk about what a mistake they think she's making and how, they wonder, did it all happen and when did the feelings change. They talk about how they barely see her anymore because she spends most of her time at the boarding house cooped up in Damon's room. They talk about how happy she is.

The last part is the hardest to deal with, because he knows that no one ever really sat around when they got together and talked about how happy Elena Gilbert was when she and Stefan were together. And that just sucks.

_Oooohhh too young too dumb to realize that, _

_I should have bought you flowers and held your hand…_

Elena finally moves back into the Gilbert house and all Stefan can think is that it's about damn time. While he doesn't want to admit it, he misses his bed, as empty as it is, and his room and all the clutter that he's accumulated over the years. He thanks Caroline before he moves out and moves back into the boarding house the same day Elena moves out.

As he walks in the door he smells something that he's not sure how to place. It's a familiar smell that he just can't put his finger on, but decides it's probably just Elena's perfume or some other product that she uses in her morning routine. After throwing down his bag in the front hall to be taken upstairs later, Stefan goes into the kitchen to get a glass of water, and suddenly it hits him what the smell was.

Roses. There are roses sitting on the counter.

Stefan looks at them for a long moment and sees Elena's name written on a card in familiar handwriting that is only neat and old enough to be Damon's. Feeling like the peeping tom he is, Stefan picks up the card and opens it to see what Damon wrote.

_Because I felt like it. -D_

Flowers. He bought her fucking flowers.

He feels like picking up the vase and throwing it across the room, but quickly talks himself out of the idea. He has to get a hold of this anger and suppressing things had worked for him the past…

Thinking over him and Elena's time together, he can't really think of a time that bought her flowers just for the hell of it, if he ever had at all. Obviously he didn't if he couldn't think of a time. But where was the time? It seemed like every moment that they were together, Stefan was fighting for Elena's life in one way or another, which in the end he guessed didn't really matter anyway. Just look at her now.

Stefan quickly puts up the card when he hears movement and voices coming from the stairs and walking towards the kitchen. He pulls a glass out of the cupboard and tries to make it look like he wasn't just snooping.

They both pause when they reach the entrance to the kitchen and Stefan offers them a tight lipped smile as he allows his gaze to fall to where their fingers are intertwined. Elena looks like she makes a move to let go, but Stefan can see the strain in the muscles of his brother's hand as he squeezes not letting her make things easier on him.

"When did you get back Stefan?" Elena asks cordially, not wanting to make a scene and trying to find the easiest topic of conversation that won't end where they all know it inevitably will if they don't all get out of here and fast.

"Just a while ago." He says simply finally letting his gaze move to their own instead of their hands. "I just decided it was time I got out of Caroline's hair." They both nod and still try to not really meet his gaze. Stefan just tries to remember if he ever just held Elena's damn hand. Surely he did. All couples did that…right?

Yes, of course he held Elena's hand. But he doesn't remember if he ever just did it when they weren't in a life or death situation. If he just held her hand to hold her hand. To just feel her soft skin in a seemingly innocent expression of how much you care for someone. Because there is just something so intimate about a holding a hand.

And then Stefan decides that no. He never held her hand the way Damon holds her hand. And he doesn't know that even if he turned back time, that he could ever hold a candle to the way Damon holds her hand.

_Shoulda' gave you all my hours, when I had the chance…_

Thinking back on everything. He knows that leaving Elena for Klaus was really the nail in his coffin. But he knows that he had no other choice. If he hadn't done what he did, Damon would be dead, and he and Elena would be over now anyway.

Because as much as human Elena didn't want to admit it, she cared for Damon more than she should have. Yes, it was normal to feel some form of compassion for your boyfriend's family, but Elena had always taken things a step too far. She worried obsessively when Damon hit a low point or was gone for days at time. She didn't like it when he was dating someone else, as much as she hated to admit it. Stefan saw the looks she gave the girls that would walk down from Damon's room in the morning.

Maybe Damon just always gave her the attention she needed instead of constantly badgering over her the state of her humanity. He really wants to blame Damon for everything, for constantly flirting and touching her when he knew how it affected her.

But really, Stefan knows he never gave Elena the kind of attention she deserved. He watches Damon now, walking out the door after his latest phone call from Elena. All Stefan knows is that he heard Damon mumble something about 'a damn girl and she can't do laundry.', and that was the end of his knowledge of the situation.

He can't remember receiving those kinds of phone calls from Elena, just normal everyday problem phone calls. Then again, Stefan would have just tried to talk her through it, especially if he were Damon.

Damon had just come home when Elena called.

Stefan just decides the reason he probably never got calls like that from Elena was because she was already calling Damon for help, even when she wasn't supposed to.

_Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance, _

_Now my baby's dancin' but she's dancin' with another man…_

Mystic Falls and its infamous dances, you could never get tired of them. Not really. Sure, most residents complained and gripped but most of them looked forward to them, thrived on them even. Where else would they all be allowed to dance with their old high school sweethearts and get unceremoniously drunk?

Stefan's hatred, however, is not a show. It is a true driving force that makes him seethe with anger that he even has to attend this damn thing. The Scooby Doo gangs track record at dances, however, has left him with no choice but to go and make sure no one shows up to try and kill them. What makes things worse is he has Klaus breathing down his neck trying to find out the state of their newly awakened hunter.

Jeremy's doing better than they'd planned and thank god his one driving force was no longer to kill Elena and the rest of the vampires in Mystic Falls at any cost. But he still has the nightmares and still wakes up with unexpected stakes in his hand, just not as frequently, and Damon is staying over at Elena's enough to ensure that he's not a problem. Sure…that's the reason.

You would think that with all of the killing and planning they'd all been doing in the past months, that the last thing they'd all want to do was go to this party but then again, Stefan really never was good at judging others emotions and expectations.

He supposes that's the reason why Damon insisted that they all go. He knew how much Elena secretly wanted to, not even listening when she insisted that it was the last thing that they needed to worry about and that they didn't have the best luck at dances maybe it just wasn't a good idea. But Damon would just smirk and roll his eyes and say that of course they were going. There were only so many Mystic Falls parties left that they would get to attend for the next one hundred years.

She would smile and shake her head, saying 'whatever', and Damon would return her smile, a knowing one, because he understands Elena better than anyone else. He knows how much she loves to get dressed up. He knows how much she loves to dance and never thinks twice when she pulls him out on the dance floor. Such a change from the begging and nagging she would have to do just to get Stefan an inch near the band and swaying bodies.

Taking a drink from his scotch, Stefan looks to the dance floor now, scowling when he notices who is occupying it. It seems like everyone is staring at Damon and Elena, they are electric together. He moves her gently and looks her in the eyes, smiling the entire time, and only looks away to whisper something in her ear and by the way she's blushing it was probably something dirty.

Although trying to keep his anger suppressed is not working, he's doing surprisingly well considering the circumstances. He hasn't barged onto the middle of the floor and torn them away from each other yet, which Stefan sees as encouraging. It's just so hardto watch as his brothers hand moves so discreetly lower and asking what when Elena points it out. It's hard to see them smile and play and laugh. It's hard to see them happy together.

And he knows that's selfish. Add it to the list of his selfish emotions lately. But he can't seem to shake the idea that Elena is happy with him. He'd always told himself –more than likely out of denial – that if Elena ended up with Damon, that she would never be happy. Would never be satisfied. But seeing the look on her face now, he knows that he is sorely mistaken. He's not even sure if she ever looked at him that way.

He catches a few stray looks at him, people are wondering why it's not him twirling Elena on the hardwood in the center of the room and he does his best to avoid their gaze. They don't know the story and they don't deserve to know the story. He decides that the story of Damon and Elena probably started with a dance. One that he wasn't present for and Damon was; so beginning the complete and total sob story that was now Stefan Salvatore's life.

And all because he wouldn't dance, even though he knew how much she loved to.

_My pride, my ego, my selfish ways, _

_Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out of my life,_

_Now I'll never get to clean up the mess I made, _

_And it haunts me every time I close my eyes…_

Before he couldn't stop sleeping and now he can't even think about sleep. He can't stop thinking of all the mistakes he's made. He can't even speak to her without sounding like a stuttering idiot. To make things words, he realizes that Elena's never going to want to listen to his excuses.

He'd let too many things get in the way. He knew he'd let his pride. He just never could get over the fact that he needed her more than she needed him. That may have not been the case in the beginning. She'd used him as a crutch to get over her parents death but towards the end of their relationship he'd begun to rely on her. She became the one thing that he thought of the reason he wanted his humanity back. She **was** the reason he had his humanity back.

If it wasn't for her strength and her determination to get him back to the man that she knew, then he would still be out thriving on innocent lives being seduced by blood and ripping his way across the country. He feels eternally grateful to her for that. Living with your emotions off isn't as amazing as it seems.

But now, she was gone –at least to him- and there was no way that he'll ever be able to change all the mistakes he's made when it comes to Elena. He'd been too pushy; he'd been too concerned with what he wanted from the relationship and not what Elena wanted. He'd thought that they wanted the same things. Clearly he was wrong.

He knows now that she's more like Damon than she could ever be like him. Vampirism suits her the way it never did seem to Stefan. She was able to relish in the new and exciting things that being a vampire had to offer. Stefan had always been too frightened of his bloodlust to be able to. He understands that she would never be truly happy with him. But God if it wasn't hard to see her in the arms of someone else.

And now he just had to deal with everything he'd lost and not getting any sleep.

_Although it hurts, _

_I'll be the first to say that I was wrong, _

_I know I'm much probably much too late to try and apologize for my mistakes _

_I just want you to know,_

_That I hope he buys you flowers and hold your hand,_

_Gives you all his hours when he has the chance, _

_Takes you to every party, _

'_cause I remember how much you love to dance…_

Stefan knows he's wrong for wanting them to not be together and being angry at their mutual happiness. It pains him to say this, but he was more wrong in their situation than he was right. Their relationship probably would have ended if Damon had been there or not. This only makes him angrier. However, it is good to see her so happy.

In fact, his only redeeming moment in anything left of his life is that, while it angers him to see her happy with **him, **he's glad that she is indeed happy. She deserves happiness in any way, shape, or form that she is able to achieve it. And although he's bitter that she sought that happiness with his brother, he is glad that it's there and thriving in the way she smiles when Damon walks into a room.

The only thing he can hope for, is that Damon does everything right, to everything he did wrong. He's glad that Damon buys her flowers on a whim and holds her hand just because he wants to. He's glad that Damon will do anything for her at a drop of hat, no questions asked. He's glad that Damon will dance with her anytime, day or night, music or no music because he knows how much she loves to dance. Because Elena deserves a man that will give her everything her heart is searching for, even if it's Damon.

_Do all the things I shoulda' done…when I was your man…_

_/_

_Thoughts? Comments? Feel free to leave them in a form of a review. I don't know I sort of like the way it turned out. Though I do love a good melancholy Stefan…anyway just let me know if you would like to see more one-shots like this… I'll probably post more even if no one says anything. My muse is too active these days! _

_If you liked this fic, I have another one from Stefan's point of view while Damon and Elena are alone over the summer that he is gone with Klaus…only they just think he's gone. Really he's lurking in the shadows watching their every move…_

_It's called While He's Not Looking if you're interested! Alright good bye for now! _

_-Katherine_


End file.
